Would You Believe
by kurt.trout
Summary: Buffy Summers is the Council's resident psychological profiler and attaché to the US Government. Don Eppes meets her during an investigation and isn't too pleased, at least initially.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 'Numb3rs', 'Inspector Gadget', or 'Get Smart' and I am not Joss Whedon (BtVS), Nicolas Falacci (N), Cheryl Heuton (N), Andy Heyward (IG), Jean Chalopin (IG), Bruno Bianchi (IG), Mel Brooks (GS), or Buck Henry (GS). No infringement is intended and no profit is being made.

Buffy Summers and Don Eppes.

-----

Giles stuck his head into the hallway and shouted, "Buffy! I need you for a moment."

"Sure thing G," Buffy replied, right behind him. Giles grabbed at his heart, shocked by his slayer's sudden appearance.

"Must you?" Giles asked dourly. "What am I saying, of course you do."

"It's in my nature," Buffy replied brightly.

"Quite."

Buffy pulled Giles back into his office and asked, "So what's the happy haps?"

Giles opened his mouth to speak but decided that it would be best just to ignore Buffy's mangling of the English language.

"We've got a case. There's been some murders out in California that may be related to the supernatural."

"Wowsers, Giles!"

"I wish you'd stop that," Giles muttered as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Buffy replied innocently. "Anyway," she said as she pointed her finger into the air, "Buffy Summers is always on the case!" She grabbed the file from his desk and skipped out of the room.

"I don't like the looks of this, Andrew," Giles said to the previously ignored man/boy. "You'd better keep an eye on Buffy." After a moment, he added, "And keep her away from the cartoons, this time. My patience is beginning to wear thin."

"I read you loud and clear, Giles." Andrew saluted and followed Buffy to wherever they were going.

Giles leaned his head against his desk and moaned, to no one in particular, "Why me?"

-----

"So what do you think, Buffy?" Andrew asked. "Magical or mundane?"

Buffy and Andrew were crouched over the body of the so-called _Cyclops Killer_'s latest victim. It wasn't the most gruesome sight either of the two had encountered, but the victim's empty eye socket reminded them a bit too much of Xander's, leading them to purposely ignore looking at it unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Mundane," Buffy replied firmly. She pointed to a set of cuts between the victim's ribs. "Do you see how clean these cuts are? They were made by some kind of knife, not demon claws." She then pointed to the eye carved above the victim's heart. "I've actually seen this ceremony before. You take the eyeball while the victim is still alive and then carve into his chest once he's dead. Once you collect enough eyes, you can perform a ceremony that will give you some form of the second sight, depending on the specifics in the ritual."

"Amazing! But doesn't that point to this being a magical killing?" asked Andrew.

"It would if the ritual was performed correctly, but the incisions above the heart were made while the victim was still alive. It's more than likely that whoever did this was working from a translation…"

"…Which no serious magic user would ever do," Andrew finished. "So we've got a regular human trying to perform a magical ritual. Looks like we're staying here for a few days."

The two Council employees stood up and walked over to the FBI agents who were talking amongst themselves.

The police and FBI had learned long ago that when Buffy Summers comes to town, the investigation was hers. One word from her and a covert team would take over. The original investigating team never found out what actually happened despite any quite inquiries they made. Most organizations now accepted Buffy's power over them with a minimum amount of grumbling.

Don Eppes met Buffy Summers two years previously in another case involving a murder with mystical elements. She was introduced as a psychological profiler specializing in murders with mystical elements and the Council's representative to the United States. Supposedly, a team of special investigators from Homeland Security had solved the case and arrested the killer, but Don had never seen any proof. He didn't appreciate it when the case was taken from him, but Buffy's explanations made the transfer a bit better. They'd crossed paths twice more since then but he hadn't had any more cased taken away.

When he noticed Buffy's approach with her assistant, Don pulled away from the group of agents.

"Summers," said Don, curiosity written all over his face.

"Eppes," she replied, revealing nothing.

"So…" He didn't want to seem desperate, but he was starting to get antsy. Antsy like Charlie with a great idea and no one to tell it to.

Buffy met the agent's gaze for a minute, tilting her head to the side in thought.

"It's all yours," she said finally. She began to walk away before turning around to address him again. "I'll bring you the profile tomorrow. 'Til next time, Eppes." She smirked at the agent and headed towards her car, Andrew trailing a step behind.

"I'll get you next time, Summers," Don shouted at the girl getting into the BMW, "NEXT TIME!"

"You'll get her?" asked Colby, confused at his boss's antics.

"I never took you for a cartoon watcher, Eppes," added David.

"This is the FBI," Don responded stiffly. "We don't threaten people with references to cartoons from the 80s here!"

"But apparently we do threaten with 60s comedy series references," said Megan.

"I had to compensate somehow," Don replied guardedly as he folded his arms across his chest. "Would you believe she stole my Inspector Gadget DVD's last time she was here?"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' or 'Numb3rs' and I am not Joss Whedon (BtVS), Nicolas Falacci (N), or Cheryl Heuton (N). No infringement is intended and no profit is being made.

Don and Buffy: the Prequel

Two Years Previously…

Don looked at the woman with absolute disgust. How dare she take this case away from him! He'd worked tirelessly for two weeks before this blond devil showed up. How in hell did she have this kind of authority over him. Wait. Why was he bottling this up? Bottling up emotions isn't good for the soul!

"How dare you take this case from me!" Don shouted.

"How dare I?" the woman shouted back. "I dare because your director says so and he says so because the President says so and the President says so because I say so. That's how I dare. How dare you yell at me?"

"How dare I?" Don re-shouted back. "I dare because I am very, very angry! I am probably displacing that anger at you instead of at healthier targets, but in all honesty Summers, I really don't care!"

"Why don't we take this back to your office, Eppes? We can yell at each other without everyone overhearing us!" the Buffy Summers re-re-shouted back.

Don grabbed the Buffy's arm and pulled her across the room past his staring colleagues and brother.

Once the door was closed, Don was about to start yelling again but instead folded his hands across his chest and looked at the ground. Unsure what to do, the Buffy tried to put her hand on Don's shoulder, but he shrugged it away.

"Eppes?" she asked tentatively.

"What is it?" Don sighed.

Buffy stared at the strange man for a minute, eyebrow raised. He was hot one minute and cold the next. "Want to talk about it?" she asked, lifting his head to meet her eyes.

"Not particularly," he said as he pulled away from her.

"Try me," she replied. "I can almost see the weight on your chest that's holding you down."

When he continued to ignore her, she decided to try again, saying, "I'm told that I'm a good listener," not adding that people tended to be sarcastic when telling her so.

"Fine." Don started to pace as he thought of the right words to say. "It's so hard, having other people tell me what to do. I'm getting sick and tired of having other people do my job. Charlie's always coming up with these brilliantly insane solutions while I'm an idiot in comparison. I feel like no one thinks I can do my job by myself."

He looked at her for a minute before adding, "Having my director call you in certainly isn't helping me with that."

"You know, I have a genius younger sister. She's not as smart as Charlie, but she's 21 and finishing a PHD in Linguistics. We work for the same company so it isn't hard to feel overshadowed every so often."

"Try all the time." Laughing bitterly, Don added, "Even when I do get to solve a case by myself, Charlie's always got some new idea that makes him even more famous."

"My sister is always complaining that I overshadow her; that she'll forever be known as Buffy's little sister. Your brother didn't feel that way growing up?"

"I… I don't know," Don said quietly. "I never paid that much attention to him."

"And he couldn't possibly be trying to show you that he isn't just your annoying little brother anymore?" Buffy asked.

"I know he's not, but he's always around," he said, frustrated with his life. "Even when I want to be alone."

"If you're so against Charlie helping you on cases, why ask him to help you?"

"Because…"

"Yes?"

"Because he's the best," Don replied firmly. Though his brother annoyed him, Don still respected his achievements. "So I should just let it go?"

"Just keep being good at what you do," Buffy stated. "Your team is the best in L.A. for a reason. It was the best long before Charlie started helping you out and will continue to be the best long after he moves on."

Don moved over to his chair and sat down. After playing with his pens for a minute, he decided to break the silence. "So you're saying I shouldn't worry about Charlie so much?"

"Pretty much."

"Any chance you'll let me keep this case?"

"Sorry."

"I had to ask."

"I know."

"Are they good men? The ones taking over the case?"

"The best."

"I can live with that."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 'Numb3rs', 'Inspector Gadget', or 'Get Smart' and I am not Joss Whedon (BtVS), Nicolas Falacci (N), Cheryl Heuton (N), Andy Heyward (IG), Jean Chalopin (IG), Bruno Bianchi (IG), Mel Brooks (GS), or Buck Henry (GS). No infringement is intended and no profit is being made.

Don and Buffy: the Sequel to the Prequel

One year and three months later…

Buffy surveyed the scene, finding it wanting.

"When was the last time anyone dusted this place?" she asked her minion, Andrew.

Andrew was eyeing the pile of debris with a similar question in mind, and grunted his agreement. Being a semi-civilized man, Andrew would have voiced his agreement but had quite unfortunately rammed a bar of chocolate into his mouth moments previously.

Ignoring her minion's uncouth behavior, Buffy continued examining the scene. The library they were currently in was not built to house the amount of people trying to examine it. Were she a fire marshal, Buffy would probably limit the number of people safely allowed in at any one time to five. In addition to Buffy and Andrew, there were four FBI agents, two mathematicians, and one physicist currently trying to examine the room. Adding to the regrettable denseness of the space were the various piles of loose papers and writing utensils scattered throughout the room. One pile near the back reached almost three feet off the floor but the piles averaged about one and a third feet tall.

Buffy picked up papers from each of the piles as she finished her circuit of the room. When she returned to the entryway, Buffy studied the papers for a few minutes and then conferred with Andrew, who had finished eating his candy bar.

"It's obvious that the killer was disorganized," she started "we know that much from the evidence at the scenes."

The killer Buffy was currently studying hadn't even tried to clean up the evidence at the scenes. The killer left shoeprints, bloody fingerprints, hair samples, and even the various murder weapons in full view. It hadn't taken much tracking for Buffy and the FBI to track the man to the small occult library he normally ran. Buffy normally wouldn't have been called in on a case with such a small mystical element, but Don asked her personally making it hard for her to refuse.

The agent had called Buffy two days previously in order to ask about the writing on papers found near the various victims. When Buffy was able to identify it as shorthand for Egyptian Demotic, but they soon began discussing any possible mystical connection to the methods he used to find and kill his victims. When Buffy mentioned that this might be easier to do in person, Don quickly asked her if she was able to fly to L.A. on such short notice. Andrew personally believed that the man was developing a small crush on his boss, but would hardly admit that aloud. Andrew also believed that his boss was developing a small crush on the agent, but he wouldn't even think that aloud.

When they arrived in L.A., it was obvious from the first scene that the killer was completely mundane. If some demon was involved, it would have had an effect on the

Buffy shuffled through the papers before picking one out for closer study. After a moment, she continued talking. "Most of these papers have nothing to do with the killings. They're mostly notes on inventory and various ideas he wanted to write down. These papers actually seem well thought-out and mostly grammatical but the later ones, the ones that are talk about the killings, have a rushed quality to them. He first describes hearing a voice about two weeks ago. The voice is muttering to him, but he can't quite make it out. It is easy to ignore, but he writes that the voice sounds angry or agitated. In the papers that were written last week, he can't stop the voice or even tune it out. It is a near-constant stream of vitriol directed against everything and everyone."

"Near-constant?" Andrew asked, playing his part as the Watson to her Holmes.

"Whenever he killed someone in the way the voice wanted, it would quite down for a bit," Buffy replied, shuffling the papers. "The first time he killed someone, the euphoria at finally quieting the voice was wonderful. Once he knew that peace was achievable, he couldn't stop. At the back of his mind, he knew that what he was doing was wrong, but the promise of a moment's peace was too much."

The duo fell into silence for a moment, before Andrew asked, "Are we going to catch him?"

"Definitely," Buffy replied instantly. "The man's probably out wandering the neighborhood right now looking for another victim. The police doing the canvas have his physical description and know that he's probably acting erratically. Someone will eventually see something; all we have to do is wait."

The fingerprint databases went down right before the first killing, only three days previously. The FBI agents were able to match the prints from four other scenes to the first, but unable to make a match to their owner. Taking into account the five murder scenes, Don's brother Charlie was able to narrow down a four-block radius where the killer probably lived or worked and the library was right near the middle. They had begun searching the area that morning, when the databases came back online. They were able to identify the killer as Markos Spiros and the library they were currently standing in as his place of occupation. They had also hoped to corner Markos here before he had the chance to kill again, but sadly, that was too much to ask.

Andrew jumped when a phone started ringing in the near-silence. Don pulled his phone from his pocket and answered with, "Eppes."

The conversation lasted only five seconds, but when Don said, "We got him," everyone else in the room let out a breath they hadn't realized they'd been holding.

Congratulations were passed around the room and even though Buffy didn't think she had helped that much, she still was satisfied by the outcome. Buffy crossed the room and gave each of the brothers a firm hand shake. She was about to pull away and make her escape when Charlie invited her and Andrew back to his house for dinner.

"Nothing fancy," he said, "I'll just order a pizza or Chinese and we'll have a minor celebration for another closed case."

"Besides," he whispered, "I want to get to know the woman my brother hasn't stopped talking about in a far less gruesome setting."

Buffy was startled by Charlie's words, but managed to ask, "He's been talking about me?"

"Of course he has. I don't think he realizes how often the conversation turns in your direction." He paused for a moment, and then added, "So, I take it that means you're coming?"

Buffy nodded her acceptance and got directions from Charlie before heading back to the company car.

Charlie's house was only a fifteen minute drive from library but it seemed much shorter to Buffy. To Andrew, the house seemed a million miles away as he had to sit through Buffy interrogating him about what Don might say about her.

"For the last time, Buffy, I don't know whether or not Don thinks your hair is too blond," Andrew semi-grumbled at his boss as they pulled into the driveway. "We're here, so you can ask him yourself."

Throughout dinner, which turned out to be three large pizzas, Buffy kept glancing at Don, trying to divine what he thought about her hair and Don kept glancing at Buffy, trying to imagine what it would be like to run his fingers through her hair. In spite of their preoccupations, they managed to participate peripherally in the conversations around them. Charlie and Andrew were discussing Combinatorial Biology and the FBI agents were discussing tracking techniques with the other two scientists.

When only the brothers and the Council agents were left, Buffy and Don moved to the living room to avoid the two others' conversation. They had begun discussing ways of optimizing the production pathways of antivenins to the various toxins Andrew had collected from demons by decreasing the amount of time it takes to generate and improving their performance. Even without knowing about demons, Charlie was able to cite a few research studies done on the subject that sounded relevant to Andrew's work.

Buffy and Don sat on opposite ends of the couch, enjoying the lack of science conversation. Taking a few moments to build up her courage, Buffy finally asked, "Do you like my hair?"

Though it wasn't the best conversation starter ever, Buffy's question broke the flood gates. The two began talking about their lives with only a minimum of editing. Buffy told Don about how hard it had been to go back to college when her little sister was just about to start at the same place. Don sympathized and shared his stories about going to high school with Charlie. They both found comfort in the fact that they both had mothers that didn't deserve to die so young and fathers, or a father-figure in Buffy's case, who could dispense advice when they needed it.

As the time approached midnight, Charlie and Andrew didn't show signs of stopping their own conversation, and so Buffy snatched a DVD box-set from the shelf. On the front, there was a sticker that read, "Don's," in big letters along with a cartoon man, girl, and dog. Buffy heard Don mumbling something about thieving brothers as he squatted in front of the DVD player to insert the first disk.

Time went on, but neither of the two noticed that they had inched closer and closer together. As the second DVD reached the end, Buffy and Don were fast asleep, leaning against one another for comfort.

Don woke up and even before opening his eyes, he noticed that his side felt cold and his forehead felt sticky. Don pulled the blanket closer around his body before pulling a note away from his forehead. Thanking the gods in tape heaven that the tape wasn't attached to any of his hair, Don read the note.

_Eppes,_

_I felt bad for taking your Gadget DVDs since I'm pretty sure you were sleep talking when you said I could have them. I figured I'd replace them with DVDs from my personal collection that I'd seen too many times. Enjoy the greatness that is Don Adams!_

_Summers_

_P.S. It's in front of the TV._

Don pulled his gaze from the note and settled on the carpet near the TV. Smiling, he muttered, "The old steat-a-box-set-of-DVDs-but-pretend-you-really-had-permission-and-then-replace-them-with-a-similar-but-not-quite-the-same-box-set-to-make-it-hard-to-complain-about-the-borrowing-that-was-actually-a-theft trick. How absolutely devious."

With a chuckle aimed at the woman he was slowly getting more and more attached to, Don stuck the first disk into the player and sat back on the couch for the perfect start to his day off.

A/N: I don't really like putting these in, but I thought some explanation was necessary. I haven't had much time lately since I just finished school (college!), been busy with work (tutoring!), am about to start school again (law school!) and I've felt entirely uninspired. I have the final part to this nearly ready as well, so you'll see that in a few days as a consolation prize for waiting so long. Happy... well, happy everything.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 'Numb3rs', or 'Get Smart' and I am not Joss Whedon (BtVS), Nicolas Falacci (N), Cheryl Heuton (N), Mel Brooks (GS), or Buck Henry (GS). No infringement is intended and no profit is being made.

Don and Buffy: The Sequel to the Sequel to the Prequel or the Sequel to the Original

Nine months and two hours later or two hours later depending on which part of the story we're talking about now…

Don pulled his milk from the fridge and set in on the table next to his bowl of Honey Fruity O's somewhat angrily. Why didn't he just ask her to stick around for a while, this time? It wouldn't of been that hard. He wouldn't be so somewhat angry with himself if he was just able to ask the woman he'd been lusting about for the last two years out on a date. He was about to pour the milk somewhat angrily into his cereal when he heard a knock on his door. Opening it, Don saw Buffy Summers, object of his affection. Don blanked out for a moment as he considered how nice it would be if that was her official title. Object of Don Eppes's affection. Or maybe: Girlfriend of Don Eppes. Yeah…

Don snapped out of it when Buffy slipped passed him into the room. The drool that had accumulated in his mouth muffled his speech somewhat, but Don was still able to ask, "What are you doing here?"

"I forgot something," she replied with amusement evident in her eyes.

Confused, Don was about to ask her if she thought she left something at the FBI office or if she wanted her DVDs back, but was prevented from doing so by the pair of lips that attached themselves to his own. The questions he was about to ask floated away from his conscious mind as he gave in to the rather enjoyable sensation…

"Oh, Don…" she whispered against his lips.

"…And loving it," he whispered back.


End file.
